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How to End an Argument with Your Spouse Peacefully

Nobody wants to get into an argument with their spouse, but it happens.

And it is okay.

It is perfectly normal for married couples to experience the occasional argument. However, it is important that you and handle the argument with care and understand how to end an argument with your spouse peacefully.

Doing so will ensure the argument is productive, which can have a positive impact on the health of your relationship.

In this article, you will learn how to end an argument with your spouse in a way that supports the health of your relationship.

How to End an Argument with Your Spouse - Chris Massman.gif

HOW TO END AN ARGUMENT WITH YOUR SPOUSE

There is a great deal of information on how to argue appropriately, the benefits of proper arguing and how to approach your spouse when you have a problem. But what has research stated about best practices on how to end conflict?

The way you resolve an argument could be the most important part of the process. Below are some tips on how to end spousal conflict the correct way.

Positive Physical Touch

Arguments should never include pushing, shoving, beating or other violent expressions. Positive physical touch can be included, however. It can be helpful to gently and softly caress your spouse when arguing. This may feel hard to do at first because you are mad, and the last thing you want to do is provide comfort.  However, providing this comfort during an argument - especially at the end of the argument - can reassure both of you that even though you are arguing, you still love your spouse and want to work towards resolution.

Postpone the Argument

If there seems to be no resolution in sight, it may benefit your relationship to take a break from arguing. Agree to continue the argument later, after you both have cooled down and have had time to think about the problem.  During the break, you can journal or write down your thoughts and feelings. When you come back together, you can share what you have written; this allows you both to be heard.  Be mindful to come back within a reasonable amount of time and not let the break go on too long. This can only lead to more built up resentment.

A short break, however, can give you time to calm down and think about the issue at hand.

Move While Arguing

Exercise releases endorphins, which boost happy chemicals in the brain and body as well as reduce stress. Exercising can reduce the negative feelings and thoughts you may be having toward one another.

You could go for a walk, run or even do something simple like yard work. No matter what movements you choose, you are doing them together and working towards resolution, together.

Marriage Counseling

“Over 98 percent of clients of marriage and family therapists report therapy services as good or excellent.” – AAMFT

The number of couples attending therapy together is growing. Meaning, many are realizing the significance of getting help from a professional.

Marriage and Family Therapists are trained in helping couples work through a variety of issues so they can strengthen their relationship. It can be nice to have an objective professional act as a mediator in your discussions. The therapist helps ensure that everyone has equal time to talk and listen.

Further reading: Does Couples Therapy Work?

Take Responsibility

When you have done something wrong, it is important to be able to apologize for it. Even if your intentions were not to hurt your partner, you still need to apologize. Often, a simple apology can prevent a larger argument.

Admitting you were wrong shows maturity, and it can prevent an argument from escalating. Rather than fighting about whether you are right or wrong, you can begin to work on the solution to keep it from happening again. Do you want to be right or loved?

Learn to Compromise

Many times, couples feel that resolving a problem means one person wins and the other loses. This does not have to be the case, however. Working together, you and your partner can develop compromises, allowing you both a feeling of success.

Creating the compromise is only part of the resolution. You must stick to your compromises.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness allows you to move forward. Some may think forgiveness is allowing your partner to win the argument. This is not true. Forgiveness is putting yourself in your partner’s shoes to understand why they made the mistake and have empathy for their experience.

Forgiveness is showing compassion to you the one you love.  Forgiveness is not about forgetting what happened.  This compassion may allow you to let go of your anger, freeing you from the chains of negative emotions. Forgiveness can occur when the offender offers a heartfelt apology, which can allow the harmed person to move to forgiveness, and therefore, freedom from prior pain and anger.

Reward Yourself

When you end an argument the correct way, you have done something great. So why not reward yourself? You both deserve a celebration. Making up can be fun in so many ways and it should not end with the two of you walking away once the argument is over.

Continue your makeup rewards to include a nice walk holding hands, eating out at a romantic restaurant, and of course, creating fun, intimate moments at home.

Prevention

Many fights with your spouse can be prevented by following a few guidelines: Get in touch with your emotions when you first begin feeling upset. Do not let negative feelings build up until you explode into an argument. Schedule daily meetings with your spouse to check in on each other. Be truthful about your feelings and emotions. Commit to working through each problem together, as a team.

Conclusion

Arguments, when handled correctly, can make you feel closer as a couple. When you work together, it strengthens your team elements. You can feel like the two of you can conquer anything when you are on the same page.

Find ways to keep your marriage fresh and fun. Make efforts to date again. Why wait for birthdays to give your partner a gift or surprise them with a fun road trip? Do what it takes to overcome issues the appropriate way so your marriage can flourish.