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8 Common Marriage Mistakes that Lead to Divorce

Are you making any mistakes that could negatively impact your marriage?

According to the American Psychological Association, an estimated 40 to 50% of first-time marriages in the United States end in divorce.

Today, we are taking a closer look at eight common marriage mistakes that lead to divorce.

Keep reading to learn more.

Marriage Mistakes that Lead to Divorce

Every marriage has problems. You know this is true because when you talk to your friends, they can totally relate to what you are going through, possibly due to them having similar experiences. 

One partner always does more of the chores, while one partner spends too much time online. Perhaps one of you does not make the other feel appreciated.

Just because you have problems, does not mean that you do not love your partner dearly. Therefore, you are willing to do what it takes to make your marriage work, despite disagreements.

Some of the more common marriage mistakes can be avoided. Keep reading to learn tips that will help you prevent major problems in your relationship.

1. Lack of Communication

Sure, body language and facial expressions can give you an idea of how someone is feeling. Until you hear it from the one you love, it can be dangerous to assume how they feel.

Someone can be smiling but also feeling hurt and rejected. Some people have become practiced in hiding their true feelings. Communicating intently with your partner can avoid any misperceptions.

Be able to listen to their words to understand exactly how they feel. Avoid being defensive if they tell you something you do not want to hear. Make them feel it is okay to tell you the truth. Let them know you want to make things better, that you treasure their feelings.

Communicating with your partner gives you the opportunity to explain your intentions. It gives you a chance to reverse hurt feelings before they turn into bigger barriers.

2. Financial Infidelity

According to reports, one in five spouses commits financial infidelity.

Hiding money secrets from your partner can be devastating to your relationship. Some consider this just as bad as physical or emotional infidelity.

A secret is a secret and when you betray the openness in your marriage, trust is lost. Your partner will lack trust in other areas too. They will think that if you lied to them about financial issues, then you will lie to them about other issues.

Trust is very hard to rebuild in a relationship. The best thing you can do is prevent this type of betrayal from happening in the first place.

3. Lack of Flirtation

It does not matter how long you have been together, it is fun to make the one you love blush. Maybe with a wink or flattery. Maybe something a little more personal. Your partner likes to feel wanted by you.

Flirting is one way to show your partner they are still wanted.

According to some studies, flirting can make couples feel like they are in their own little world. It makes them feel more connected.

The reasons people flirt can vary, from just having fun to trying to get more intimate with someone.

4. Too Dependent

Relying on each other is expected in relationships. You are a team. You need each other. However, there is a thin line between being dependent and being co-dependent.

Co-dependency happens when one person in a relationship enables bad behaviors of their partner. They tend to want to please their partner, even when negative consequences can happen.

Co-dependent characteristics include a person having low self-esteem, poor boundaries, and may seem in denial of problems that appear obvious to others.

Seeking help from a licensed therapist is an excellent way to overcome co-dependency in a relationship.

5. Too Independent

While being too dependent on your partner can be harmful to your relationship, just the opposite is also true. Being too independent in a relationship can make your partner feel a lack of value and unworthiness.

Your partner wants to feel needed at times. They want to feel important in your life. Allow them to use their strengths to help you or the relationship. Even if you can do something yourself, include your partner and solve things as a team.

6. Lack of Self-Improvement

If you commit to a relationship and soon after the commitment you stop taking care of yourself physically and mentally, your partner may outgrow you. Meaning, they may continue to evolve and improve themselves, while you may not.

Eventually, this can lead to both of you feeling as if you are not the same two people who fell in love years ago.

It is important for you to continue being the best you, the one who enhances knowledge, keeps themselves healthy and has a zest for life. This will allow you and your partner to grow together rather than apart.

It will keep you both interested in each other and prevent you from feeling stagnant in your relationship.

7. Lack of Teamwork

It is you and your partner against the world. At least that is what it felt like in the beginning. This feeling does not have to end. You can do things to maintain that “I’ve got your back” feeling.

Never throw your partner under the bus. You can do this by avoiding gossiping about them to other friends. What you say to others about your partner will influence how they view them as well. If you call your partner a wimp or annoying, your friends and family may begin to view them negatively as well.

If something is not working in your relationship, work directly with your partner to fix the problem.

8. Rejecting Marriage Counseling

Many couples think attending marriage counseling is a sign of weakness in your relationship. Just the opposite is true, however. Going to a counselor, together, shows the strength of your love and desire to stay together.

Marriage counseling is a safe place where you both can be heard. Your therapist will act as a facilitator and help guide you to solutions that will improve your relationship.

Through talk therapy, team building activities and other therapeutic techniques, you will notice improvements in your relationship within a few sessions.

Both you and your partner deserve happiness in your marriage.

Want to learn more about marriage counseling? 

Call (818) 264-9684 and schedule your free phone consultation to get started.


Chris Massman is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Agoura Hills, CA. She graduated Phillips Graduate Institute with a Master of Arts in Psychology in 2014 and received her Chemical Dependency Specialty in 2014. Today, she practices Congnitive-behavioral therapy to help individuals, couples, and families identify and overcome a variety of unique challenges.