It will soon be that time of year again. That time where we create resolutions to improve our lives.
While individual resolutions are great, there are other areas in your life that may require a few helpful resolutions. One of these areas could be your marriage, especially if this past year has not been the emotion-packed romance it once was.
No marriage is perfect. Not even the ones that seem perfect, every couple has core issues.
One thing that can set you apart can be the resolutions you set to improve your marriage this coming year. Below are twelve resolutions you and your partner can start working on immediately.
Let’s face it, every couple argues. Arguing is quite normal. It’s the way you argue with your partner that makes a difference between healthy relationships and unhealthy ones.
Fighting fairly can be done by discussing how you feel rather than focusing on your partners faults. Give each other time to cool down rather than forcing the fight to continue. Also, be prepared to negotiate and compromise so that each of you feels appreciated and valuable.
Many conflicts happen because two people engage in a fight. Sometimes reminding yourself that you do not have to engage, or that you can disengage, can resolve an issue.
Winning does not have to be important to you all of the time. Allow your partner to win occasionally. You will both benefit from your disengagement. Ask yourself this important question: Do I want to be right or do I want to be loved?
Reach Personal Goals
Remember those individual resolutions you made? Go for it and do what it takes to reach your personal goals. When you succeed, you feel better about yourself. This means you are happier with yourself. You feel accomplished and rewarded.
Your positive attitude will be a benefit for your marriage. When you are happy, you are less likely to argue or find yourselves isolated.
Don’t just reach your personal goals, encourage your partner to reach their goals. Be a cheerleader for them so they will achieve their dreams. With you providing positive support, they will feel you are on their team encouraging them on.
Be the cheerleader you would want to have when striving towards your personal goals. You may be surprised at just how much reward you feel from cheering on someone else.
Remember that ocean cruise you both talk about taking, or the beach vacation you promise each other every single year. This is the year to follow through on those promises. Work together to save the money or decide on the minute details.
Make the planning of a reward fun, just as fun as the actual vacation.
Every day you can find one or more ways to show your partner you love them. Even if they aren’t currently showing you the love, it’s important you make the effort to do so. Follow through with what makes you feel good about who you are in the relationship.
The Power of Touch
Even a pat on the back can prove to be powerful. If you float through time in a relationship without touch, it will begin to feel as if you are just roommates. Touching connects you physically and emotionally.
Back rubs, foot rubs, holding hands or running your fingers through your partner’s hair are all examples of gentle ways to show love through touch.
Everyone wants to be heard. There is a difference between hearing and listening. The right way to listen to your partner is to first stop speaking. You cannot be fully present and hear what your partner is saying if you are also talking.
Listening well means you are engaged in the conversation so much so that you can repeat or paraphrase what they have said or offer feedback when they are finished speaking. When you listen, you can learn how to make things special between the two of you.
Point Out the Positive
We spend many moments focusing on what our partner is not doing for us. We think of the ways we wish they would change. We want more appreciation, more attention, and more romance. What we do not often focus on are the positive traits our partners already possess.
Every day of next year, point out a positive trait your partner exhibits. Compliment your partner so they know you recognize the things they do well.
Even better, compliment them to other people or in a crowd. This helps creates positivity and a close connection for both of you!
Intimacy means so much more than just making love. There are many non-sexual ways to be intimate. Flirting, snuggling, sharing a blanket while watching television, or dancing can be extremely intimate.
Holding hands, back massages, gazing into one another’s eyes, kissing and even participating in a spiritual activity like praying together can make you feel close again.
Laugh it Up
Rather than giving attention to the media filled with negative reports, decide to find ways to laugh together. Watch a comedy, tickle each other, or watch your wedding video and laugh about hairdos and bad guests.
Buy a cheap joke book at the dollar store and take turns reading them to one another. If you know that special thing that gets your partner to laugh every time, now is the time to follow through.
Technology has become a downfall in many relationships. It captures our attention more than our partners. Cellphones, televisions, social media, gaming stations, and laptops are some of the technology that keeps us distracted.
Make a pact to turn off all technology at 7:00 pm and spend the rest of the evening focusing on each other. Play board games, read together or just talk. You may also find other fun ways to spend your time when not on technology.
Go ahead, use these twelve resolutions to fall back in love with your partner this year or rekindle an existing love on another level, a love tune-up. Happy New Year 2018!