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Six Ways to Assess the Health of Your Relationship

Some couples therapists might have an assessment tool to gage the health of the relationship in couples they're working with. These are similar to the tools that assess for depression, anxiety, and degrees of mania in people seeking psychotherapeutic assistance. However, if you're not a clinician, you might need to find other ways to assess the health of your relationship. Below are a few suggestions to do that.

You feel happy. Certainly, this is a good indicator that your relationship is healthy. If you're partner is happy too, you've got a pretty good marker that all is well. Along these lines, some people feel happy if their life in general feels satisfying. If one's work life, extended family, and other factors are fulfilling then that might also be an indication that one's relationship is going well.

You and your partner are good at facing the challenges. Sometimes, it's not so much how you feel when all is well, but it's how you feel when a relationship presents challenges. For instance, do you and your partner cooperate and communicate in order to weather the relationship storms? Some might feel that this is a more accurate measure of a relationship's health - making it through the rough times together.

You're having fun together. Some couples have found that a measure of their relationship health is whether or not their relationship is fun. While some couples don't spend much time together, other couples make it a point to enjoy life together. For instance, they might go out to eat often, take exciting vacations, or take a dancing class together. The level of fun a couple is having might be a measure of relationship health.

There are many accomplishments between the two of you. Some couples have goals together. They might make a financial plan based upon the income of both people.
They might aim to buy a nice home, take regular vacations, and have money to have children in the future. Some couples might use accomplishments and the fact that they are reaching goals, their life goals as a means for relationship health.

Both of you feel good. For some couples, the feelings of love, enjoyment, fulfillment, and other heartfelt emotions might indicate the health of a relationship. When two people share these types of feelings, those emotional experiences might bleed into other areas of life. The relationship is the source of wellbeing. For this reason, positive feelings, for some couples, are a strong indicator of their relationship.

Both of you behave lovingly toward each other. Other couples might feel that when both partners are affectionate, expressing their love with gifts, or showing their love with lots of attention, this too might be a way of measuring the health of a relationship. When each partner is behaving in ways that express love, this might be a good indicator that the relationship is healthy.

These are some non-clinical ways to explore relationships. You might find that you use all of them with your own relationship or pick a few that stand out as a measure of your relationship's health.

 

 

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Chris Massman is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Chris' training includes Family Systems Theory along with numerous other theories. She believes therapy is an art and chooses the theory she feels will most benefit the individual sitting in front of her. Her specialty lies is in the field of Chemical Dependency and Addictions. Chris is currently seeing individuals, couples and families. Chris is a Clinical member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists as well as the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. Chris has two locations including Tarzana and Agoura Hills, CA.